Number 29.
Floating down the Sucuri River, we watched the fish through the second clearest water in the world.
I was also nervously looking for snakes, as we had just been told that ‘sucuri’ is the Portuguese word for ‘Anaconda’.
“Lontras!!”
At this Portuguese word, my head instinctively lifted out of the water and through my snorkel goggles I could see a swirl of beautiful fur playing in the water by the river’s edge.
I ducked back into the water, and for one brief wonderful moment, I could see the two of them playing.
Then in a whirl of white water, they were gone.
All my life I had dreamed of seeing these in the wild.
“You’re so lucky!” shouted the guide from the boat. “I’ve been a guide here for 20 years and I have only seen otters 5 times!”
Number 28.
Chocolate and Gold
“I’d like to give something to thank you.”
“No, it’s fine. I’m glad I could help.”
I was in a Glastonbury café when she’d approached me for help with Excel. She and a friend were starting a business selling ‘natural’ chocolate bars with spices and little pieces of gold leaf inside.
“I could give you some chocolate. But, I only have one bar with me.” She paused, unsure, then broke it in half and gave me some without any of the wrapper.
“Erm, thank you.” I said, not sure what to do with it. “Do you want any money?”
“Ok,” she said. “Half a bar is £3.80.”
I gave her £4 and she kept the change.
Later, as I ate the horrible tasting chocolate, picking bits of gold out of my teeth, I cursed my British politeness.
Number 27.
London Lightning
Flash. “1, and, 2, and, 3, and …” Crash.
It’s been a warm dry day, but huge black storm clouds are rapidly approaching. I’m standing on the banks of the River Thames, looking at the reflections of lightning over Greenwich.
Flash! “1, and, 2, and …” Crash.
The speed of the approaching storm is as surprising as it is spectacular and more people have stopped to observe its progress. Opposite is the 02 Arena, it’s huge white dome giving a perspective and frame.
Flash!! “1, and …” Crash!
Brighter and louder: it’s too close for comfort now and only seven remain, nervously and excitedly watching the sky.
CRASH!!
Flash and crash are instantaneous, as the lightning strikes my building with loudest sound I have ever heard.
We all run, hearts pounding as loud as the accompanying car alarms.
Number 26.
The Wishing Tree
Spring Festival in Hong Kong and the branches of the fake plastic tree are filled with fake plastic oranges. Nearby the fallen old original tree looks on, replaced when this ritual became too popular for it to bear.
Each orange carries with it an attached paper tag on which each person has written his or her hopes for the year. On the back is a handy list of options, just in case someone couldn’t be bothered to write out theirs.
You hurl the orange high up the tree and if it stays within the branches your wish will come true.
My hope is that my books and music are finally published. With an extra hard throw I launch my orange, and my hopes, as high as they can go… seventh time lucky…. Yes!
Now, will it work…?
Number 25.
A Lesson in Trust
My train was heading south, through the surrounding forests and mountains, to Sevilla. Behind me lay the old converted monastery of La Cartuja; the hotel where I had been staying for the last three weeks.
I would often get up early to watch the sunrise through the mist covered hills, full of cork oak and olive trees. Each sunrise was wonderful, but…I never once saw a fox. Why was I frustrated at this? I’ve seen many foxes before. It was because another guest had seen a fox that very morning. Why hadn’t I?
But the universe works in mysterious ways and it was about to say, “Forget about the fox, learn to trust.” For as the train turned a corner, there standing in a small forest clearing was the first wild wolf I’d ever seen.
Number 24.
Palenque
Emerging from the hidden tomb of Lord Pakal, I look out across the ruins of Palenque from the top of his wonderful pyramid. Howler monkeys noisily howl in the nearby trees.
Descending the pyramid steps, I walk into the thick jungle to look at the tree covered remains of ancient buildings.
After walking a distance, I hear a voice.
“You don’t see any tourists this far into the Jungle!”
He’s an archaeologist working on an excavation. After talking for some time, he invites me to join them all for dinner.
It’s not just any dinner though, it’s the farewell celebration for one of the longest serving and most famous archaeologists in Mexico.
As the photographers gather the small group to record the moment, the archaeologists insist on my presence.
Later, archaeology magazine readers wonder who the extra gringo is!
Number 23.
Maiden Castle
We were staying in Dorset, a county full of amazing ancient ruins, carved hill figures and old castles. Including one of the largest and most complex Iron Age hill forts in Europe, Maiden Castle.
I tried to paint a picture of it for my friends. “It’s a wonderful old castle, thousands of years old with huge ditches surrounding it. And…” I said, to impress on them its importance, “there was probably a huge battle with the Romans there 2,000 years ago.”
Indeed, it’s an impressive place, but maybe I oversold it a little and perhaps my friends were expecting a ‘castle’, like at Windsor, Warwick or Disneyland! For as we climbed the steep hillside and found no buildings remaining our friend Alison, in a wonderfully thick West Midlands accent, loudly and exasperatedly exclaimed:
“It’s just a bloody hill!!”
Number 22.
Meeting HH The Dalai Lama
Late night, Mcleod Ganj, Indian Himalaya. A dream is awaiting me at 11am: to meet and shake the hand of His Holiness The Dalai Lama.
But during the night I start to feel very sick. By morning I’m in the nearby hospital.
“I have to leave before 11am,” I say.
No way, they say.
“I’m leaving, even if I have to crawl.”
11am. I’m placed into a taxi, then taken to the front of a long queue.
Suddenly, almost hallucinogenically, I’m walking up a driveway and turning to see a hundred people following me in single file. Then I look round to find HH The Dalai Lama standing right front of me!
“It’s an honour to meet you.” I bow and shake his hand.
Immensely happy, I smile all the way back to the hospital.
Number 21.
Conmigo
At the lovely La Luna Hostel, in a beautiful Ecuadorian volcano valley, Ana Clara and I were dancing to Os Mutantes’ ‘Baby’. I looked into her eyes and sang along with the words:
“You know, it’s time now to learn Portuguese”
To justify the video camera, I pretended it was a video for my friend Amy.
“With me everything is fine”
The real reason was to capture something far more life changing.
“It’s time to make up your mind”
At this line I grabbed a T-shirt I’d prepared and went down on to one knee.
“Look here, read what I wrote on my shirt”
On the T-Shirt I’d written the words ‘Ana Clara Você Quer Casar Conmigo?’
She laughed at my misspelling of ‘Comigo’, and then cried.
“You do”
Finally she smiled and thankfully said ‘I do!’
Number 20.
Take Notice
Some years ago I used to regularly go swimming at a local leisure centre. One of the best things about this was the beautiful assistant who worked there. Although we spent lots of time talking (whilst I vainly tried to look charming in swimming shorts), I never did find the courage to ask her out on a date.
One day near the entrance of the leisure centre I saw her walking toward me. So desperately trying to look cool, I pretended to read a large notice on a wall next to me. She greeted me with her usual warm smile, but then I thought I noticed her expression change.
Only after our conversation had finished and she’d gone did I actually read the notice I had been pretending to read so intently.
The large title read:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
:
NAKED YOGA
